Let Just Be Friend

You talk about him a lot in front of me
And I'll just listen cause he's all that you see
I look at your beautiful eyes and hoping that you're mine
While you get yourself carried away by his cloud nine

You turn to me when he break your heart
I pull you back together when you're falling apart
I pick up the broken pieces and with love I mend
The broken heart of the person who only thought me as friend

Why can't you see the tears in my heart?
The scream of love I was trying to hide
Or the look in my eyes when I 'm trying to show
How without you I'm so down and low

I want to write a beautiful song just for you
And sing it to the whole world just so they know this feeling is true
But I'm afraid I'll go north and I'll go south
When the words "Let just be friend." come from your mouth

I want to keep you right here by my side
Although it's other's hand that keep you warm at night
When I look from the distance you're happy and laughing
I'll smile with joy although my heart is crying

There will be one day when I've had enough
When this feeling in my heart, I 'm enable to bluff
The path of life is still long, it won't always be straight
But the thought of you'll still linger in the corner of my head

*write this based on my own experience. I mean, it sucks right? falling in love with your friend, don't want them to know because you're afraid it'll ruin the friendship and worse, if they love someone else. what sucks the most? when they came to you when they had problems with their lovers... ugh! and then we'll act nicely and say, "don't worry.. it'll be just fine" when we actually want to say, "leave that jerks already! I'm here for you..". ~sigh~ hahaha... that's life, full if 'sigh's... enjoy^^ *

missing my panda... watchulookinat!!??

3.20 am
still grieving
knaper radio niyh asek play sad song har..
ok, dats a lie
ak yg nak dengo lgue2 sedeyh kt mp3 player ak....
sigh....
I miss my Panda...
so wat
so wat kalo ak nk sedeyh sdangkn owng akn ckp,
"come on, it's just a hamster"
hmmm...
n then ak tringat kakak ckp,
"kite leyh control prasaan kiter n kakak mmg suke sedawe kuat2... burrpp..."
ye ker?
n then aku ckp,
"manusie takleyh control feeling dowang, downg cume leyh control action yg di-derive-kan drpde feeling dowang jek.."
x pahm?
contohnyer camniey:
kite taleyh control samade kite nak rase sedeyh or not
tpi kite bleyh control samade kite nak ngs or not
x pahm lgi?
stu lgi contoh:
kiter taleyh control whether kite nak marah kat seseorang atau tak
ape yg kite bleyh control adela, samade:
a) kite nak pcahkn paler orng trsebot
b) kite nak tengking orang tersebot
c) balas dndam scare halus n snyap2, or
d) memaafkn orng tu ngan pnoh ikhlas (read: boring)
hmmm...
bijak kn pnerangan ak?
biase2 je la...

hurrrmmm
and then aku ngan kakak argue lgie
tpi sbab aku da mnang n kakak taw ak da mnang so ape yg dier ckap pastu tros jdik pointless...
muahahahahaha!!!
(ps: ak ktok ko sbab ak taw ko bace blog ak, kakak! skali lgi)
muahahahahaha!!!

tpi ntah lar.....
i mean, kalo kiter bleyh control feeling kiter,
of coz kite sumer nak jdik gembire kn?
tpi ape pointnyer jdik happy kalo kiter ta penah rase x hepi?
hhmmm...
feelings
they're unexplained science
lebeyh misteri dripada misteri angkase raye
or misteri pnamat kpade citer Lost (btw, citer tu da tmt poun so da x misteri lgi but I heard the ending sucks!! nseb aek ar ak ta penah tgk citer uh. huhuhu)

so, guys
kalo ade owng cakap ngan kowang,
"don't be sad"
kowang cakap ngan dier,
"fuck off, bitch!! who are u to tell me what to feel? my nanny?"
and dats what I call attitude
muahahahahahaha!!!
so jgn kowang brani2 nak ckap ngan ak,
"don't be sad.. it's just a hamster"
kalo korang tanak kne caci maki caci maki saja diriku.. (lgu sheilaon7)
huhuhuhu
Panda..... come back to me...
huhuhuhu
(T_T)

Panda, I'll miss you....

I don't know what to say today....
Panda da tglkn akue...
macam tue jek...
He left me like I'm nothing to him
Same like everyone else...
He look as if he's in a very deep sleep
Like he's in the sweetest dream he could ever had...
Panda..
You've finally free
you won't be bounded by this steel cage anymore
tader sape nak halang panda maen skang
Your playground will be as wide as the blue sky
pasniey takyah la panda gigit2 sngkar besi lagi^^
Cian Panagris...
sunyi jek tader panda...

Panda...
saper la nk tmankn papa maen2 pasniey?
sapernak hburkn hati papa mase papa dok sowang2 kat umah?
sape nak bwat papa ktawe mase papa ngah moody?
Although I know you never love me like I did
well, you're a hamster, what can I expect right?
hahaha
tpi Panda slalu wat papa ktawe
like what a true friend would do
papa ta prnah sedeyh kalo ngan Panda
sometimes I just wonder?
Am I fated to be alone
You guys left me like I have no feeling whatsoever
I'm tired....
faking all this smile
making everyone laugh while I'm torn inside
as everything that makes me laugh being taken away
Maybe you can call me crazy
or a lonely freak
I just don't care anymore

Panda...
mne lgiey la papa akn dpt tgk muke yg comel tu?
Maen brgayut2 kat sngkar...
Sneak out dri sngkar pastu mrayap stu rumah
pastu nek chu trjret2 tgk pnda jln
I miss you so much...
I feel so lonely
Fate
grab you away from me just like that
as if I can feel no pain
as if this heart is made of steel
like how it grabs away everyone else
one by one away from me...

Panda...
I'll continue walking on this path of life
though very exhausted
until we meet again^^
I'll never stop
I've given up on being happy
I'm sorry I can't stop myself from loving
I can't help but to keep you in my heart
although it'll leave a big hole in it
because I love you
Farewell, Panda
Fate torn us apart
and
Fate will bring us together again

Love,
someone who love you more that anyone in this world
who granted you more than just a pet
someone who's lonely enough
to be stupid enough
to love you more than anything in this world
Goodbye.

The Night I dream Of You

The night I dream of you
Is the night where I'll have sweet dreams
If only I knew it was only a dream
I'll hug you and kiss you
cry and tell you how sucks my life is
before the time is up
Before the giant spotlight flashes my tightly closed eyes
with a river of warmth

The night I dream of you
I smile in my sleep
My eyes glitter with tears
The night cover me with blanket of stars
as I lies on the bed of soft, green grass
If miracle only happened in dream
Please don't wake me up

The night I dream of you
Was it suppose to hurt?
As I stood there watching you with blank eyes
The words I want to say
The things I want to do
Stuck in somewhere nowhere to be found in my head
You're a living statue in front of me
yet I can't even say,
"I miss you so much"
Is this how dreams suppose to be?
You can think but you'll can never do
You can feel but you'll never know if it is true
Release me from this gas chamber
that keep releasing the breathe of hope
The time machine
that chains me to the warp of the past
Is it suppose to be confusing?
Is it suppose to be hard?

The night I dream of you
It was suppose to be a sweet dreams
We suppose to laugh together
Spending time like it never runs
Before the whole world shout, "times up!"

The night I dream of you
I wet my bed with tears
The fire that light the star starts to dim
the green grass starts to drown
I wake up with my mind fully operating
Trying to answers the illogical irrational
Why didn't I say it?
Why can't I say it?
"I miss you, Dad."

mankind is not so kind after all

hello blogers
assalamualaikum
wassup
posting this in a total upset
ak bru tgk gambo niyh
mcamne seorang pompuan ni pijak seekor kitten smpai mati and then continue pijak-ing until mate kitten trsebot ter-popped kluar.
ak rase cam nak nanges jek tengok gambo uh.
ya Allah, pe nak jdik la dunie skang niyh
bile pk2 balik, looking at my hamsters n all that
i'd never hurts an animal (exception for small, tiny, harmful insects)
even bntang yg plng ak bnci, lipas (wlaupun actually ak xkan bnh downg sbab ak geli n x sgup to even touch them) and tikus and cicak.
sbab bile dfikirkn balek, animals don't have a facial expression
kite tataw kalo dowang sedeyh ke, marah ke, saket ker
cam hamster ak an, kalo dowang saket poun muke dowang tetap cumel
macam kite saket tpi kite tanak owng tahu kite saket n tanak orang tu sedeyh so kite continue buat muke comel just to make orang tu hepi....
tu yg wat aku sedeyh sangat.
sometime ak nk ckp kat dowang: "tell me what are you fucking feeling already!"
~sigh~
pastu ak teringat video orng bunuh ank anjeng laut just to get their fur
what is that guys?
orng jenis ape yg sgt tak berperasaan snggup wat camtu!?
shame on you!!!!
camne la agaknye korang rase kalo anak2 korang kene bunuh pastu kulit dier kene siat2.
oh, i wish that poor cub's mother will did just that for revenge
but no. animal knows no revenge. their hearts are pure, unlike us.
korang ckp binatang tu bodo, tader akal
tapi korang tu? tuhan bagi akal poun ape gunenyer
n then aku teringat lak iklan kat tv psl pmbuangan bayi
it goes like this,

"di kalangan bintng xde manusie
tpi d klngn manusie ade bntng"

malu? dbndingkn dgn binatang?
tak
binatang tu yg patot malu dbandingkn dgn korang!!
tader bnatang yg x sayng anak, tpi rmai je mnusie yg x sayang anak
tader bnatang yg sgop tnm ank dier hidop2, tpi ade jek mnusie bwat camtu
yeap, dowang mmg tader akal tpi at least kdudukn downg lgi mulie dri mnusie2 kji yg bwat mnde2 camtu
i'm writing this with anger and sadness ranging in my heart
i literally cried when i remember those pictures
the horrrible visuals i'll never be able to erase from my memory
why do we have to be so cruel to this innocent creature?
ak bknnyer vegetarian
ak just nk ckp, kalo kiter boleh respect other creatures, then who wouldn't respect us?
tuhan bagi kite akal bukan untuk dkuasai oleh nafsu...
fikirknlah...
I'm gonna cried myself to sleep tonight
nitez....

Love Undone

I remember the first time I saw you
You're my friend's crush, secretly mine too
With that funny style of walking,
you step straight into my heart.
But no, it's not love at first sight.

I ignore the feeling at first
But i can't, when the sky start to held a cotton candy party
when every night held a wishing star shower
the only thing that I wish is for you to be here

because

If you tell me you love me I'll believe in you
Even if you say you loathe me I'll never hate you
Oh, love, how stupid it is
Because I swear to God I've never felt like this

I smile idiotically while lying in my bed
When I'm all alone I suddenly feel sad
I wanna write 'I love you' on your facebook wall
or do something crazy like staying up waiting for your call
Oh, love, how crazy it is
Cause, seriously, I've never felt like this

I watch you secretly in the lecture hall
and babble about it in my twitter page and blog
But maybe I need some wake up call
cause the sacred sentence haven't blurted out from your mouth.

Your eyes had said it in the awkward silence
The radio keep playing stupid love song
Baby, tell me what's wrong
Don't just stare at me please say something

because

Please tell me you love me, that's what I've been waiting
How can you be so quiet when this heart just skip a beating?
Oh, love, how painful it is
Because I swear to God I've never felt like this

All the stupid message I've been sending
All the cool face expression, I'm tired of pretending
Is it too crazy if I write on your facebook wall
or even crazier if I give you a call
Oh, love, how confusing it is
Cause, seriously, I've never felt like this

As time went by, college day will be over soon
That look on your eyes still make me swoon
but I still wait and wait like a stupid person
cause the hope in my heart won't go away for no reason

because

Please tell me I'm stupid cause cause I'm still waiting
In my heart it is always raining
Till the day you told me 'I love you'
and I'll reply gently, 'me too'
and we'll chat and laugh at our stupidity
dodging each others feeling, challenging insanity
Though i know the day will never come
You will always be in my mind
Cause you're the only one who'll always remind me

Oh, love.....
Oh, love.....
The emotional-coaster ride is breathtaking
I'm still feeling dizzy
Cause,like, seriously...
I've never felt like this
Hmmm.....
Hmmm.....

*wrote this song for suke2..^^ inspired by taylor swift's Fifteen. it was rather a story than a song.. huhuhu.. about a girl who like a boy and know the boy likes her too but sadly the boy had no guts to tell her his feeling (read:loser..). enjoy*

hmmm?

3.41 am..... time to go "cuckoo... cuckoo...." again.
can't sleep at night. sigh.
it's funny coz once i closed my laptop and lying on my bed, off-ing to bed, i'll always get an idea on what to post.
but now... blank.
nothing.
i don't know... feeling kinda shitty right now.
i don't know why i always feel shitty.
i always feels that i have the suck-est life in the whole world.
sometime
i just wanna get out of this place and start a new life.
live quietly in a remote place.
i'm thinking a cottage, build on a wide, green field
at the back of it
a small river flows lazily and it'll be foggy in the morning.
huhuhu... then will i only say, "what a life!"
hmmm,... but now, i'm back to my shitty state.
why am i always feel shitty, you ask?
don't know.
hormone kot.
whatever~

hmmm.... i don't know what i'm feeling right now..

it's 3am... time to go babble...babble...babble again.
well i'm listening to lily allen's Friday while posting this and my finger feels as if it is dancing on the keyboard. hahaha..
nice-lah... that song....
hmmm.....
tomorrow
ok... the song finish already, can get back to my blogging.
where am i just now?
oh, yes! tomorrow...
hmmm....
my friend is going back to matrics
he have to repeat the program all over again..
and i feel sad for him..
is that even right? ~sigh~ hmmm...
seriously.
i'm getting confuse all over again
he's one of my best friend
the one that i share my darkest secrets with
i'm, like, sad.. i don't know why
why does he have to went trough all of that shit again?
it's not fair
he's a very kind person
but feeling sad for him is, like, 'mrendah2kn' him.
get that? (ok, i can't find the word. so what?)
hurrmmm....
i don't get the kind-person-will-always-struggle-more-in-life shit
it's not like i believe in that shit shown on every single indonesian drama (that's worst than bullshit!)
it's only that.. you know.. kinda like the good-person-will-always-go-first shit.
why don't the bad guy go first? (singing michael jackson's 'heal the world')
and why don't the bitches is the one who have to struggle? (well, they do struggle but i mean in the other way, geddit?)
ok, back to my friend
he have another, ahem, 'friend'. let call him @$$hole.
well, @$$hole is a jerk
my friend has been so nice to him, like spend many money on him.
well, besides being a jerk, @$$hole also come from a hard-earned family.
so after all that, we finish our matriculation programme, @$$hole call my friend and said he was the reason @$$hole can't concentrate on his study.. yada yada yada..
and my friend was so heartbroken by that
he keep calling me and talk about it
and he usually end the conversation with: "entahla.. aku tak taw la..."
hmmm...
and then @$$hole got trough and it is my friend who have to repeat!
ugh! @$$hole is such an asshole!
i believe my friend is the one who can't concentrate on his study spending too much time with @$$hole! err... that doesn't sound right...
whatever it is, my friend deserve better..
i felt for him.. if i can, i will go back to matrics and repeat together with him
i mean, he's always been there with me when i'm in, let me say, shitty situation.
hmmm.... did i say too much?
hope he didn't read my blog..
whatever.. maybe i should go back to fashion blogging.. whattaya think?
owh, and it's not even 3am yet.
~sigh~
lily allen's 'Friday'.. nice song... hmm...

Kim Jong Kook~ Don't Be Nice To Me

Don't keep being good to me, don't be good to me anymore

It will be better if you were cold to me,
or better if you showed no attention to me

Taking the dust off your clothes,
Unconsciously leaning on my shoulder when you smile

It's only a habit, I try to erase you out of my life and try to keep myself busy,
but I keep thinking of you and thinking of you like a picture taken with my eyes

Don't keep being good to me, don't be good to me anymore
I don't want to be on my knees towards love and be hurt again

Just in case if you're not thinking the same as me,
if someone asks, just placidly tell them its just someone you know

That late night phone-call few days ago,
it wasn't that I couldn't answer but I didn't want to answer

I'm afraid I'll say I miss you when I'm drunk,
and it will be like nothing happened in the next morning

I miss the time when I had everything in the world with love,
but I cannot find that way back

Could it be you that think the same way, that you and I think the same way
I anticipate again and wait. Like a fool in front of love

but I keep hesitating in front of you like a fool

*kakak introduce this songs to me.it is really meaningful. make me go, "been there, done that!". hahahaha. huhuhuhu....*

i got a date on spring

i put the blossoming flower in my hand
which suppose to be yours to hold.
i wait and wait.
it might be spring now
but it'll always winter in my heart.
as i search for the light of hope
i let the flower wilt in my hand
i let the snow melt in my anger.
where are you!?
where are you when i need you here!?
i search for you in this endless blossoming hope of spring
but the only thing i could find is the endless tear of winter.
have you forgotten me?
i lay down on the cloud of spring.
the sun kiss my cheek
which suppose to be yours to touch.
the wind blows in my ears
which suppose to be yours to whispers.
the cloud dance in my eyes
which suppose to be yours to stare.
i lay down and think
you really have forgotten about me right?
i get up.
i continue searching
for the neverending hope
that you will
by any chances
remember our date here.
the promise.
our promise.
i'll wait for you
day and night
let me gave up on waking up
if it is the only way my dream would come true.
but don't let me gave up on you,
our date on this spring
the fairy tale with no ending
happily ever after..

hammy

it's 3am in the morning
just check up on my hamster....
huhuhu
panda and panagris..
i really love them both.

hmmm....
just watching them...
trgelak sorang2 ak.. hahaha
rse cam ak dh x prlukn any kind of happiness lgi in my life.
rse cam i don't need anybody anymore
ak lupe sume kesedihan dlm hti ak..
all the broken hearts..
the broken pieces tu mcm kne sapu n then msok dlm tong smpah
hahahaha
ak bleyh mniarap jek dpan sngkar dowang tu x wat paper smpai brjam2 (kalo bleh ar..)
hahaha
bleh ke kalo ak nk hidop camtu?
i mean, xder sesaper....
just me and my pets.
at least dorang xkn penah wat ak mngs
except kalo dowang mti ar... huhuhu
ak slalu byngkn camtu... hdp sengsorang
pastu pets ak tmankn ak..
smpai ak mti
tpi ade guarantee ke yg hti ak xkn dsakiti lgi?
ade guarantee ke yg ak akn bahgie?
or maybe ak just pngecot?
tkotkn seswatu yg mmg ak akn lalui..
alone or not
whether i want it or not..
huhuhuhu

all my hammy..
my baby...
papa love you all....
tipsy, flupsy, emma, sasha, betsy, gloria, kingston
thnx for all our memories
wlaupoun prpishn kite amt mnyakitkn
but papa will always love you guys
papa xkan lupe
tipsy yg slalu crik2 kuar dri sngkar..
flupsy si kaki buli yg gmok..hahaha
emma yg suke tido tunggang trbalek
betsy yg muke sweet and innocent
sasha yg suke mnggigit
gloria yg brmate merah
and kingston si suami mithali
hahahaha
papa really miss you all...
papa hrp korang ade kt sisi papa..
mngubat hti yg x hbes2 mlare jek niyh...
wlaupoun korang da bebas skang.. no more cage..
tpi papa akn ttap 'kurung' kowng dlm hti papa
i never want to let you guys go...

skang ni panda ngan panagris je la pngubat rndu papa kt kowng...
~sigh~
it's 3am...

too tired to even care about the tittle....

i totally have no idea what's wrong with me
i've been acting like a total jerk this few days
i've broke many hearts
i'm being like, totally, reclusive
i don't feel like talking,
replying messages,
and i don't know what this feeling...
kinda empty, lonely... like i've no one around me
something is like, blocking my inspiration from coming to me.
i can't write, draw or design....
i really really don't know....
for some unknown reason, i feel like going to the mall alone, walking alone, watching movie alone..... i don't want to care about the world around me...
i want to pretend like i don't have friends... like i'm all alone...
it's really hard to explain....
it's like i want to keep the emptiness myself..
i feel like i'm suffocating but i'm too lazy to move out from this space.
i want to hang out with them like old time
but i don't even want to try
and when they're the one who did all the trying...
i was like, 'get lost. i don't feel like chatting'....
i hate myself... sometime i feel like i'm a total jerk..
i feel like they're drifting apart from me..
but indeed i am the one who's drifting apart...
i don't know...sometime i think i shouldn't have any friends..
no one can understand me... even i can't understand myself...
i should live alone.. no one to love... and no one to be love
i feel suffocated, annoyed, irritated....
my mind is busy thinking about something i should just feel with my heart.
i'm sick of pretending like i'm being content with everything
content with no one ever understand me,
content with losing almost everything i love in my life,
content with letting go,
content with having to be polite when you don't want to,
content with this, content with that... i'm so sick!!!!!!!!!
sometime i just want to lay down doing nothing..
i just want to watch the world move around me
without getting involve in it
without thinking of any circumstances, consequences, percentages....
but i can only achieve that (maybe) if and only if i were dead...
maybe~
and God this laptop screen is so bright i can't even see what i'm writing!
ugh!
*sigh*.....

i wanna be a single child!!!!!!!!!

the keyword for today is:
ANNOYED!!!
maybe that's the only reason God created siblings
is to annoy and irritate you to death!
and what with parent's tendencies to win them just because we're older?
ugh!
i hate them (my siblings, i mean)
everytime they were around i was like, get the fucking out of my life!
i hate them! i hate them! i hate them!
it's so irritating when they actually succeeded in irritating me
one was narrow-minded irritating-annoying freak! psycho!
one was a lazy-good-for-nothing pig!
one was God-know-what's-wrong-with-this-bitch!
and one more was a fucking dumbass who...
oh, don't let me describe this one coz i don't want my blog to be rated 18sg (already is!)
everyday i wonder how it feels like to live a life of a single child
having your own (very big) private space
living alone
don't have to share your stuff...
aahhhh... what a life...

shontelle~ impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did

And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did

And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know

Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love and words
Empty promises will wear
I know, I know

And now when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible!
Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof tops
Write it on the sky line
All we had is gone now

Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did..

~

by tomorrow, today is going to be yesterday
crap!

it's almost 4am and i have nothing better to do. so i do what i love best-fashion blogging!

just love those jacket. not too crazy bout the super-tight and super-skinny leggings though. the heels look pretty nice too.

gemma aterton: the dress look pretty bulky in the middle but the nude shades save it from looking rather tacky. love the shape of this dress!

rachel weisz: hate the eye makeup but love the dress and love the heels even more!

kate bosworth: love the dress, the simple hair and the minimal accessories.

i talk to you
in the language only i know
the smile i gave you
the awkward silence
i'm sorry i never tell you the truth
hoping one day you'll understand
and talk to me back
in a language
as limitless as the blue sky
as beautiful as the glowing moon
as hopeful as the wishing star
how stupid i am
i'm sorry
if i ever burden your thought
with riddles
i'm a coward
taking shelter behind my sky-high ego
from the changes i don't know if it is worth taking the risks for
and sacrifice my own feeling and desire
in the battlefield of love
i'm sorry for getting you involve in it
in the war pointless fighting for
i wish you a happy life
if that's the closest of me of being happy for you
if not 'with you'
may you find someone who'll love you and care for you
for the rest of your life
as i shout endlessly
in the limitless space of my heart
I LOVE YOU

lucky? what the f**k!?

my day today....
well....
it was going pretty well
watching that super cool robert downey jr. in iron man 2
window shopping
but that's not the highlight of the day

one of my best-est friend, A, call me
and tell me his problem
like honestly
i kinda getting sick and tired of it
it's not like i'm such a bitch or whatever
but A's problem is always the same
he always put all the burden onto his shoulder
and it's a love problem
what the...
seeking for a solution for a love problem from a single person like me
i hate it when people talk about love with me
like my other best-est friend, R, who always talk about his girlfriend in front of me
plain annoying!
ok, back to the story
i just wanna tell you guys
when your other half starts to twist the fact
and blame you for no reason
actually that person is only finding an excuse to leave you!
and you should never want anyone that don't want or appreciate you!
you have your own life, for god sake
stop burdening your thought with that
because you're gonna be using that brain for a long time
huhuhu
i told that to A
but most of the time
i just do what i do best
listen
huhuhu

but then
halfway trough the conversation
he tell me this,
"man, you're very lucky that person never love you back"
err..
then that 'person' cross my mind
hurrmm... what does that suppose to mean?
hurrmmm...
then i remember
it's not like that 'person' never like me whatsoever
the point is i never even try!
as A keep mumbling about his problems
the thought of that 'person' keep orbiting my mind
like how the moon orbiting the earth
and the earth orbiting the moon
filling my just-a-few-megabyte-capacity memory.
lucky? what does that suppose to mean?
and don't let me start on how my first crush seek me for help regarding this person my first crush had crush on!
ugh! i'm crushed!

4 reason why I hate marriage

i've never believe in marriage. it's not like i believe in sex before marriage or cohabitation or anything that brings the same meanings. i just don't really see the good part of it. maybe the time haven't come yet for me. whatever. i read an article on this celeb magazine website, 'first come love and then come makeover' and edit it a little bit and wa-lah! enjoy... 4 reason why i hate marriage:

1. it's plain weird

2. marriage kills your (fashion) sense

3. marriage (or should i say parenthood) makes you fat

4. marriage worn you out

Owl City~ Vanilla Twilight

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

~really loves the lyric of this song!~

i heart their heels!

cloud speaks a thousand words that can't be seen

to me the cloud is just an art. made by God on a very big canvas called the sky.

when the cloud try to reach the sky

when the clouds literally paint a thousand colours

when the clouds hug us with is fluffy hand

when the clouds give us the calmness we never had

when the clouds stare with its beautiful eyes

when tv stars decided to do the opposite of their character on tv

Queen Bee would throw a fit if she sees this outfit Leighton Mesteer is wearing. Where has the stylish Leighton go? She look limp in this ensemble and that makeup doesn't seems to be helping much too.

Well, I never watch the new version of 90210 but i know Shenea Grimes is in it and they must have some stylish closet to match the show's reputation. But what i see here is somewhat old and frumpy. I love sequin but they should never be wore on something loose like this blazer as shiny materials can make you look bigger. Her heels seems out of place too.

From her appearance, people won't believe Ellen Pompeo was the cast of Grey's Anatomy and would mistaken her for being the cast of Sex And The City instead. She look stylish in this ensemble but I'm not to crazy about the heels though. Her looks would work better in simpler, elegant pumps.

Lea Michelle who plays the preppy character on the famous tv show Glee ditch the cardigan an skirt for this stylish satin peekaboo dress. Not really crazy about the eye makeup though.

it must sucks to be them

what is the best way to tell the question maker how $hitty an examination question are than to give them a damn $hitty answer?

All I Do Is Whine

Ok, I admit it. I'm no Paris Hilton or Christiano Ronaldo to whine whatsoever but that the least I can do to update my blog (when I'm not criticising celebs fashion sense or talking craps about love and emotions) and to compete with my dear sis (man, she update her blog, like, every hour!). So before I start talking craps again, let the whine begins!(isn't it kinda same? whatever.)

Ok, first, I remember one episode of CSI Miami where the guy died of electric shock because of the self-made-air-conditioner-went-wrong $hit. But that's not the point. The point is Batu Pahat is as hot as Miami I can tell ya! They did some cloud seeding here and there but it doesn't help much (except for the mosquito population). It's not like I'm ungrateful but the only thing the rain has brought is more warmth! And don't let me start on the water crisis! Ugh!

~love~

Love is a poison
so strong it can kill you.
Love is a cure.
It can heal a broken heart
and mend a trust that has torn apart.
Love can make you lonely,
endlessly in the cold winter
waiting for something that shall never came.
Love is like a flame
that light up the candle of hope
and brighten our day.
Although it can burn,
the experience worth the pain.
Love is an empty space,
once caught up we shall never know how to get out,
although far a distance we shout
our voice will only wanders about.
Love is confusing.
It keeps us hoping for something hopeless.
Keep filling for something that'll never full.
Keep us lonely even when the world is with us.
Torn our heart apart and give the pieces to a stranger.
Letting them keep it without our permission.
Love make us blind
letting go the person who stole our heart without even a single fight
and fight for the stolen heart to be kept instead.
whoever understand it?
I'll never understand it;
the limitless space,
the secreted hormone,
the irrational tears,
laugh,
anger
and jealousy.
But that's what love is,
not to be understand but to be appreciated,
not to be thought but to be felt.
Love teach us to appreciate the warmth of summer,
in the middle of winter.
Love teach us to beauty of flower,
even when falls has take over.
It's a stupid thing yet it is brilliant.
It keep us together yet tore us apart.
It's so painful... yet it make us happy
~

MET Gala: The Oscars Of Fashion (the top 10 misses)

1. The only thing that cross my mind when I saw January Jones's outfit: erk!?

2. The dress is better without the sheer. You should just show that pretty pair of legs, Kristen Stewart. And what with that boyish updo? And why does she keep wearing the same pair of heels?

3. Emma Watson really dissappoint this time. The dress (and her hair) looks like an unfinished works! Procrastination is not just a thief of time, it's a thief of style, too.

4. What can I say, Oprah. 'Big' woman in a a big dress! just look at Oscar De La Renta's grin! He's scared!

5. Ruffles and bustier top will never work together, Rosario Dawson. And the colour even remind me of a pajamas.

6. Carey Mulligan's dress remind me of a grandma's apron.

7. Someone has to tell Christina Hendricks that that 'thing' on her shoulder is going to sucks her blood....

8. Doesn't Maggie Gyllenhal's dress kinda remind you of the same Louis Vuitton catastrophe that Madonna wear last year? It's like deja vu!

9. Where has the elegant Tina Fey go? She looks like a clown in this outfit and that make-up.

10. Bring back the glam Taylor Swift! She looks dowdy and blah in this boring white dress. And that lipstick! Ugh! It's sad to put a fashion icon in this list.

MET Gala; The Oscar of Fashion (top 5 looks)

1. Who else? When making a statement in a dress, J. Lo is always the winner (that includes wearing a trash bag as a dress). J. Lo looks flawlessly gorgeous in this peacock inspired dress with embroidery details. Tips of the day: keep your accessory simple when you know the dress had done all the talking.

2. I dare to say that nobody can mix hippie and chic and glam as brilliant as Nicole Ritchie. Love this sequined silver dress and accessories that complement her hair.

3. I've always love Eva Longoria and her fashion sense but after becoming fat for a season in Desperate Housewives, she had been through a wardrobe meltdown and starts to wear ridiculous dress. In this picture, all i can say is, all hail the comeback of the fashion horse. Yee-haw!

4. The Princess-like Anne Hathaway must wrote this in her Diary: "going to the MET Gala looking fabulous in gold and tulle!"

5. Blake Lively dons a short dress while others go for a long one. Man, this girl sure know how to flaunt her assets. Love this turquoise dress that kinda remind me of the ocean.

(bonus): Katy Perry arrived in glow-in-the-dark dress, no less!

twitter-4-qwitter catastrophe!

so i decided to become a qwitter like miley and lil'wayne and lily allen (they actually shared the same amount of 'y' in their names! i see a trend here) because it was dead boring (and partially because nicole ritchie never reply my tweet) and nobody, like, cares about you in there. i feel so lonely in twitter for not having any reply although i tweet few genius quote in there (created by me, pun intended) instead of paris having so many "i love you" and "good luck" after tweeting: "watching myself on tv and god, that blonde bimbo looks hot!". ugh! (who do i think i am anyway?)

but because i have no friends who tweet, i decided to tweet limitless in there; my secret, the name of the person i had crush on and many other shameful $hit! i figured out, "my friend will never tweet. they're no serena williams or perez hilton and plus, we have facebook already." and i went on tweeting and tweeting and it stops...suddenly (poor my 6 followers must thought i'm dead or what.....yeah, really).

and then i went on with my facebook craze, pretending i've never had a twitter before... until one day this particular friend texted me: "hey, u got twitter right? what's its name? i want to follow" and like a flashback in the movie titanic (don't ask me why i pick that movie. it's the only movie that cross my mind at this time) i reminisce all the tweets i've tweeted before and i quickly pull my i-won't-reply-coz-i-don't-have-credits-although-i-know-you-know-it's-a-lame-excuses-especially-when-i-reply-saying-that-i-don't-have-credits attitude and ignore her for the next few days..

and then she asked me (via facebook, no less!) why i didn't reply her massage and i continue with my lame excuses. and the day after, she sent me a massage (via facebook too, no less!) that she had found my twitter account....
OWH.....EYM.....GEE....!!!!!

i then quickly open my dusty twitter account and delete all the shameful post while my mouth can't stop saying the word 'damn'. up until today i still don't know if she had actually read my post or not but if she does... i've got a lot of explanation to do...

by the way, is the word 'tweet' is in the dictionary? it is not considered as grammatical error but the word 'facebook' does.... hmmmm....

~tips of the day~

nothing to blog so i came up with some useful tips:

1. no need to wear rain coat(or dress) when it is not raining..

2. if it's cold outside, layer up your top with cardigan or trench coat but never layer up your skirt.

3. eat healthily (food is to eat, not to wear)

4. it's rude to stare (especially when it always refer to 'scare')