hmmmmm...
Ramadhan.....
what if... it was just a normal day..
~sigh~
i really miss my family right now....
i miss going to the bazaar and buy a heck lotsa food
i miss going to the shopping mall that plays all the raya songs non-stop to show how raya-spirited they are.... or at least to please their customer into spending all their raya budget there..
i miss the smell of new clothes, the liveliness, the tiredness of shopping all day long..
amd then when we went home we will unpack all the food and break fast together..
owh, shit! i damn miss that!!
i don't want to be stuck here!! there's no liveliness here!! i feel like i'm the only one fasting here!
God, how I miss matrics life...
after we break fast we will all went to the bathroom sink together to wash the dishes, the bathroom will be crowded, there'll be sound of footsteps and boy screaming outside (for reason God know why) and they'll sing raya songs with their lungs out..
i miss break fasting with afiq, azrai, sirad, lina, almas.....
i feel so pathetic break fasting alone
i feel like one of those widows whom the ex-wife left him with nothing... including his own property... well, that's what usually an ex-wife do, right?
ugh!
i wanna go home! this place is a shit!
not to mention the food price is so expensive!
geez, i wonder how people in KL survive.... their food expenses for a week is equal to my food expenses for a month if i were in Johor
go Johor!!
boo KL!! (although Bangi is in Selangor I insists KL-ians too are involve in this matter)
huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu..
back to the point
what if i want it to be a normal day?
just normal...
no puasa, no raya... no celebration
~sigh~
what am i talking about
I'm so stupid
I just miss my old man....
I miss him being there in his wheel chair..
breakfasting with us
I miss him bringing us to Pengeli to puasa and spend our first raya there..
I miss Tok Wok and her delicious ikan patin masak lemak cili api
I miss nenek and bibik preparing food together and we'll listen to the radio to know when to break fast and there'll be this one song that'll be played everytime after the azan...
I miss all of them....
sometime I felt like i have no one in this world
people come and go in my life acting like they leave nothing in my heart
for some reason I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone in this world
I'm not that good as a friend nor that I'm good as a son....
I have a hamster but they all died..
because I'm not good as their keeper...
I'm never there when they need me...
even if I'm there it doesn't bring any differences though.....
how I miss the good someone in my life
how I miss feeling life is as full as it can be
how I miss feeling like I don't need anything more in my life
when I play with hammy, when abah take us on vacation
the smile we all had when he made jokes while we on a boring trip to somewhere
how I miss the thing that is actually gone in my life...
things that will never come back....
I don't want any special day in my life
as I know that special day will never be as special as it was when they were all here..
and the price of growing up is kept being paid by me and the rest of the humans in the world
somehow i feels like my heart is being crushed more with a footsteps of people who has actually step into my life
owh shit!
look at me! talking bout feeling and stuff!!!
sheesshhh,......
this is why i hate spending Ramadhan here!
God, I deserve a good fucking pair of jean when I get back home!!