Just A Dream

Listening to Carrie Underwood's Just A Dream
And suddenly I was thinking
Don't we all wish our life was just a long dream
sometime we just wish we would wake up
and everything is back to 'normal'
where we don't have to pay a high price for happiness
where sadness and loneliness and sorrowness is not more than just fairytales
and where we can play under the warmth of sun on the grass field all life long?
I don't know..
I sometime wish I would live in a perfect world
where I don't have to live with a secret
where I don't have to try so hard everyday to fake a smile
to cover my tears
to walk steadily when deep inside I can't even hardly breathe
where everything stays the same everyday
no one left, no one dies...
where I can just talk with people about stuffs that I don't even need a blog anymore to babble around and make people wonder, "what's the hell is he writin'?"
Oh that actually gimme an idea to write a song..
Thanks Carrie. for a girl who come from a trashy reality tv show, you're quite amazing..
*sigh*
Can't wait to go home tomorrow
Sadam almost convince me to stay and go back the day after but I was like, nah....
Nyte2 bloggers!!
love y'all....
Ahhhh.. Good to be back and babbling.

Farewell Bolt

*sigh*
what a life.. my friends convince me to not do all this luahan perasaan thingy on my wordpress blog because the blog is actually for educational purpose.. whatsoever..
today I found out that one of my hamster is dead..
Bolt.. it's not Usain Bolt ok!!
It's a she... a beautiful she..
I don't know.. That's why I always menentang keras when mom decided to buy my lil sis hamster.. They know nothing about that creature..
I myself don't really know anything about hamsters..
Well, I do know more than them though..
It's a shame to keep a hamster just so it can die just like that..
It's devastating.. They're such a beautiful God creature..

Ok, why am I sounding like a scripted speech-giver on some-I-don't-know-who-the-heck-are-you-one's funeral?

*sigh*
I just don't care..
While doing my paper today suddenly I remembered Tipsy, Flupsy, Emma, Betsy, Kingston, Gloria, Sasha and most of all... Panda
I don't know..
Sometime I figured out I'm just too lonely until I created such bond with such creature
Beautiful creature
My mom always get mad at me when I laugh with them. Or talk to them when I'm all alone in my room. Or talk to them when everyone else is asleep..
But who else should I talk to?
About my dark secret? About all these such unimportant-to-others-but-important-to-me stuff that I'm afraid people will laugh at and say, "You're such a child" if I ever talk to them about all those..
They never laugh at me or say, "If you do that I'll tell all your secrets to everyone"
Ok maybe because they aren't capable of doing both of that but it's just that..
When I'm with them I feel so happy..
Like how I felt when I'm with dad...
I hate feeling so alone and unneeded..
When I'm with them it was just like, they're filling my empty hearts with joys and make me remembered back all those how-happiness-really-feels-like stuff..
Geez... I'm sooo pathetic..
Whatever. I'm so going to get a cat when I'm working one day..
I don't need anyone else.. I think...
*sigh*
Farewell Bolt... Sorry I forgot your first name...